What's Important

I figured out what type of person I was, "like it or not."  I'm pretty much worthless if I'm not allowed to talk to who I want to, if they would agree to talk to me, some.  The thinking goes ... if I like someone, that means they're too good for me.  However, I get people acting like they are looking out for me in saying I can't talk to good people, but, in the end, they just blurt out it's because it's not about themselves and position themselves as the worthy companion.

So!  I'm one of those people who "didn't make it" and can only "make it" by fighting for it.  I make some statement in some extreme, and I am just as happy as those who "made it" in life because I am busy doing that well.  I come in and make a statement that not many people seem to make, and then I'm "done for."  I stick out and seem a little tacky and self-centered.  For instance, imagine someone who made it by being taller than they like or shorter than accepted.  That's one example.  Or, someone who is multiracial; a lot of them make it in the program of life.

This is not right, actually.  People wonder why I feel lonely, perhaps, and when I can talk to someone and things can get better, because of other people picking at me, things get worse.  They want to size up exactly how feelings work, like they can make a better robot with a more creative and functioning memory.  It's like, "Wait, sir, you forgot to live!"